Friday, August 8, 2008

learn to say "no"

A friend of mine called me up and asked, if I was wanted to join her for dinner? I was extremely tired, and was in no condition to go anywhere.Still,after a pause, I said”ok”.Shocked and surprised at the same time, at my own answer, I asked a question to my inner self “what made me say yes?”
Do we do things which satisfy us, or we do things which other want us to do? Well, if we try to analysis It., We can conclude that both will ultimately mean the same. I said “yes” to my friend because it would make her happy and in turn it will satisfy me to see a loved one contended .But while trying to give some pleasure and satisfaction to our dear ones we should also understand the basic fundamentals of this rule and how it can affect our self dignity and existence. There are a few questions we should ask ourselves to understand it further.

1. Should we say “yes” to everything which our dear ones propose to see them happy (so that, inturn we are satisfied) or we should understand their demand and use our discretion.

The foremost thing which we should understand is that that we said “yes” because we wanted to, not because they wanted us to. Following this logic will keep things simpler for us in the long run. these simple yes’s and no’s are so much a part of our life, that most of the time we don’t think of the reasons of the answer we gave.but, there of course is a thought process behind the answer which is such a integral part of our personality. Consider simple questions like, are you hungry, or how was your day? Or how was work? We usually don’t think for long before we answer them, but the fact remains that we thought for a couple of seconds (which infact is good enough).most of the times our answers are driven by convenience rather than truth.

If we say “yes” to our dear ones without pondering on their question or demands is quite fatal for our own inner self. Most of you will wonder why? A set of certain people in our life are so important to us that we are ready to agree to whatever they come up with, doing this will not only harm you but also the other person involved. When two people are together, it is essential for an influx of thoughts from both the sides. To disagree or saying a “no” once in a while will not harm both of you.infact, your loved one will end up feeling great about a “no” you expressed.

. A “no” can give you as much happiness as a “yes”, if you know that you had thought well before saying it and it was for the best.